her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
