i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
