We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize