how can u be prego again
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
