Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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