The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
