I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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