so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
