Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Randomize
