everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
