I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
