Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
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