you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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