I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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