im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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