Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I understand Curling. That high.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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