Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize