stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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