he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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