What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
