Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
