Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I faked an abortion last night.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Randomize
