Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
