3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
