I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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