my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
