Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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