whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
