I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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