You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
