I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
