Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
