Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
