So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
