I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
