even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
im on a boat
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