Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize