Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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