Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
