It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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