he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
