her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
