Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
