I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
