we made out on top of his cat.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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