help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Randomize
