I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
