Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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