good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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