So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
