I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
