How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
