i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Randomize
