I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
