He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I came so hard my ears popped.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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