I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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