i permit you to call me
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
