I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
