haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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